The Drunken Blog

An interesting side effect to going out drinking at veritable hole in the wall establishments is that it’s often slow and the servers can be pretty bored. And just like anybody when they are bored, they turn to TV to fill the void, unless of course you are a girl server in a place that only has sports on the TVs; they have to become more creative to overcome their boredness.

It’s been my experience that they will typically try to talk in order to spice things up a bit. Sometimes they do it because they are bored, other times they do it because they are trying to extract as large a tip as possible from you. You can usually tell when the conversation is genuine, however, when what they say is not exactly what you want to hear.
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Vegas day 3 started off with a bang. I had stumbled back to my place at around 5 AM and I passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. The next two hours were the most glorious two hours of my life, because after those two hours, I was awakened. Not in the normal way one would expect to be awakened, though, no, in Vegas everything is done up, and having people wake you up is no exception.

Apparently my friends decided that it would be a lot of fun not to sleep at all that night, so they stayed out until about 7 and then came back to the room. My buddy Ahab was deliriously tired. He ran into the room yelling “wake up, bitches!” So, begrudgingly, I complied. You see, it was our plan to go to Rehab, which is a pool party at one of the Casinos. Not just any pool party, though, this is an exclusive pool party, so exclusive that it costs $40 to get in, and you have to wait 3 hours in line to get in. The pool opened at 11, so we wanted to get in line around 8AM to be among the first ones in.
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Recently I’ve been frequenting a fine establishment called McFadden’s. It’s located in Foggy Bottom, and I used to live within walking distance of it for about 4 months after I graduated. In that four month period, I think I went there once. But all that has changed. It changed because Mary won a free happy hour. And what’s more, all of her friends get $1 beers and rails during that time. The only problem with this awesome deal is the fact that it only happens on Tuesdays.

I used to go out drinking on Thursdays while I was in college, and I even resumed the trend after meeting some new friends that were still in college, but I never regularly drank on a Tuesday night. And here I am, having gotten drunk for the past three weeks in a row on a Tuesday night. You see, it’s not a huge deal when somebody wins the free happy hour, everybody eventually wins. In fact, the second time we went Jake and I signed up for the mailing list and Jake found out the next day that he won. I unfortunately did not, but I’m just waiting for my comeuppance.
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This weekend was my little sister’s high school graduation; she went to the same school that my older sister and I went to. My older sister, who lives in the Keys came up to visit me in DC on Thursday, we were going to drive down on Friday for the ceremony on Saturday.

I worked all day Thursday and I got home only to discover that my sister’s flight had been delayed. This was not such a bad thing it gave me more time to clean up my place. However, I didn’t get it as clean as I wanted to because we had company. And of course when company comes over, we have to drink. We made plans to go out after I picked up Sara from the airport, I would bring a 2 liter bottle of soda and a flask of rum and we would meet my friends out.

I picked up Sara from the airport and we went over to a friend’s house to pregame some more before we went out. Sara did not drink any of the rum; it made me cry a little on the inside. When we got to my friend’s house, Jeff was already there so we all continued to drink. Eventually we made it to Ned Devine’s, aka, Ned’s, aka Not-Ned’s, aka Auld Shebeen.

By this point I am drunk, but not wasted, although you wouldn’t be able to tell by my demeanor. You see, there was another X-Factor involved tonight – I had just got offered that new job. Yup, it was going to be one of those types of nights.

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This weekend concludes the second of many concerts to come this summer. The first was WMZQfest. I had a great time there. This weekend it was Brooks and Dunn and Alan Jackson. If you’re not familiar with country music, I should inform you that it was actually two bands, not three. I actually had to ask somebody what bands we saw as I was writing this, that’s how much I was paying attention to the music.

I started the day off by driving back from the Dirty Jerz, as some so lovingly call it (nobody from NJ calls it that). I managed to do all 260 miles of the trip in 4 hours; my wallet was also $20 lighter after the tolls, but whatev! I got back to the condo at about 2:30. I showered and then I was right back out the door to meet up for the carpool to the concert.

I went to Michele’s house and Jeff and Jenny were already there. We loaded up the car with 1 empty cooler and we were off… to the store to pick up supplies. We went to Safeway and picked up beer, burgers, hotdogs, buns, and chips. The line this particular Sunday was atrocious. Apparently a lot of people like to shop on Sunday but nobody likes to work the check out.

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This past Saturday was WMZQfest, a smorgasbord of delectable country music artists all performing on one day.  Who wouldn’t love something like that?  My opinion of country music has not changed, but I achieved the goal that I set out to accomplish – drink so much that I can’t even realize that it’s a country music concert (by the music).

You see, even a deaf person that can’t read would know that it was a country music concert.  The eclectic mix of white trash, cut off sleeves, confederate flags, pickup trucks, drunk people, plus hot girls lets anybody know that this was in fact a country music concert.  I was impressed.

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A friend recently sent me an article that basically said that drinking fruity drinks is good for you. Apparently the alcohol ups the antioxidants in fruit. Of course, in the article it says a “splash” of alcohol is what makes it better, therefore, drowning the fruit in alcohol makes it even better, I’m sure (that’s why the jungle juice we made was so good).

Most guys have an aversion to drinking fruity cocktails (aka, girl drinks). I’m sure there are several reasons for it. Guys are supposed to like beer and hard liquor. Guys are supposed to get drunk despite the fact that Natty Light tastes like urine from a billy goat. If a guy isn’t man enough to endure that acrid taste until he’s drunk enough to not taste it, than he is ripe for ridicule.

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I recently took a mini vacation down to the Florida Keys to visit my sister. I went with my dad; it was my and my sister’s birthday gift to him. I knew this could be trouble, especially since my dad doesn’t drink, but he might also want to spend time with us, while my sister and I would want to go out and get hammered.

My sister is a teacher down in the Keys and she has some teacher friends, most of whom seem to be from Ohio for some unknown reason (it would later be explained to me that Ohio has a really good teacher training program). However, these friends had the thought that they were going to try and get me so drunk that I would throw up.

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I was perusing the Interweb and I came across an article entitled “Top 5 ways to hustle free drinks.” It actually wasn’t so much an article as it was 5 videos of people scamming others to get them to buy free drinks. They call them proposition bets in the videos and they basically call the people that take the bets suckers because they don’t have a chance of winning, which is true.

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I recently received a request for more videos on my site. At first I was kind of hesitant, but now I’ve come to think that videos of people doing drunk things are even funnier than pictures of people doing drunk things. Alcohol is an amazing thing, especially when there is a video camera involved.

I’ll put each movie, and then a short description of what is actually happening in the movie after.
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