The Drunken Blog

I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer.  At least, my mom has always wanted me to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or an astronaut, or the President.  I guess that’s what mom’s do, hope that their children take up amazing professions and make lots of money so that the parents will be taken care of in their old age.  Well, I considered being a lawyer, I even took the LSAT, which is the admittance test for law school.

The LSAT, as it tends to do, didn’t even have the common decency to lube up before it had its way with me.  It was not a pleasant experience.  And yet, I’m still considering going into law school, and I have several friends who agree with that notion.  It would fit in well with my current career, but of course, it’s expensive and takes a lot of time.

And why bother going to law school when you can sue somebody without going?  You just have to make sure you sue somebody for less than $5000, which is what I’m doing.

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Coincidences. Some people claim that there is no such thing as a coincidence, that everything happens for a reason as part of a larger, master plan, which was obviously designed in an intelligent manner. All I know is what happened to me was weird and there is a word that covers it, so I’m just going to stick with Webster on this one and say that coincidences do happen. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be a word for it.

Don’t worry, this won’t be a post about semantics, but about an actual, freaking weird, coincidence that happened to me. You may remember that I dated a lesbian. It was a somewhat awkward relationship, awkward for her because she was a lesbian and I was not a woman, and awkward for me because she was a lesbian, and I was still not a woman. That was my junior year of high school, fast forward 6 years to present day, minus 2 months.

My good Office Friend informs me that she is interviewing some new girl that will be helping her out a lot. The first question out of my mouth, of course, is, “Is she hot?” Unfortunately Office Friend hadn’t actually had the interview yet and all she knew about her was her name and the school she went to. Her last name is probably the most common last name in the entire country, so I figured my chances of actually finding her would be slim to none.

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While on Liberty Square Rounds, Set II, Resident Advisor (hereinafter, RA)

Humbertson and RA Shah approached 2nd Floor, D Wing, RA Humbertson and RA

Shah could hear the sound of ping-pong balls bouncing accompanied by

laughing. RA Humbertson identified the location of the sounds coming from

LS, D205. RA Humbertson and RA Shah stopped and RA Humbertson Knocked. (more…)

In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day I would like to take a few steps back and tell you about a story that happened 12 years ago to the day. I would have been 10 years old and in the 5^th grade. No, that’s not when I started drinking, but it would have been a good a time as any to start because there was a big party going on.

My elementary school, Candlewood, every year hosted this little shindig called the Sock Hop. It’s as much of a school dance that you can have in elementary school. Really it’s more of a fair type of environment. The entire school is open and different rooms have different events. The gym had dancing and limbo, I think. The cafeteria had a hula-hoop competition and a cake walk. Basically, it was the most fun that a 10 year old kid could have at something called a dance. At this point in my life I was too naïve to be scared or intimidated by going to a dance. Or perhaps it was this dance that secretly scared me for life (both figuratively and literally) regarding school dances.

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With March Madness in the air I feel as if it is a fitting time to recount my trip to Indianapolis last year. If you’ll recall, last year was the magical time in which George Mason University upset 99.99% of the brackets and made it all the way to the Final Four, before being soundly crushed by Florida.

One thing that I have noticed is that everybody loves to refer to the NCAA tournament as the “Big Dance.” I know that people are not allowed to say Super Bowl in advertisements, and that’s why you always see it referred to as the “Big Game.” But I’m not sure if the same is true for the tournament. But regardless, they do refer to it as the Big Dance. I can’t tell you how annoying this becomes when you are considered to be the Cinderella team. It’s almost as they referred to it as the Big Dance just so that when I Cinderella team finally came around they could make a whole bunch of crappy references to the Cinderella team making it to the Big Dance. In fact, I think Cinderella 4 (which went straight to DVD) is actually called Cinderella is Actually a College Basketball Team That Defied All Odds to go a lot Further Than They Were Supposed to in the NCAA Tournament.

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I guess to be a failed economist, I would first have to be an economist. I don’t have any false notions that a minor in economics makes me an economist, just like watching a documentary doesn’t make me a a director. I did, however, take just enough econ classes to get myself in trouble. As they say, I have just enough rope to hang myself with.

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Since there is no TV and my grandma’s house, I have to find other ways to occupy myself.

We started to feel disheartened. We knew what we needed, but it was becoming extremely taxing trying to locate it, and time was now running short. It was not until Danielle saw a tag sticking out from a stack of merchandise that we found what we were looking for! Truly, our even was going to be perfect. Everything was coming into place, all of our ducks in a row. Little did we know that only hours before the event our lives would be put into danger, despite the measures that we took to be completely safe.

As we began getting dressed in the princess outfits we had procured from the thrift store, an ominous feeling overcame us. It was something that none of us could explain. I suppose it’s that feeling that a parent gets when they see their child off in an airplane; that feeling of impending doom which is proved wrong 99.999% of the time. That was the feeling I had now. Something I was sure would go away. After all, we were just going to Disney on Ice, where is the danger in that? But I could not shake the feeling that somehow, I was going to be in a lot of danger tonight.

We finished preparing and we got into the car. We were all excited, how often do you get to dress up as a princess to see Disney on Ice? We got into the car and the cloud of doubt was still hanging low over my head. Something was going to happen. I hoped and wished and prayed that I would be proved wrong, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling.

As it turns out, I was proved wrong, but I still had good reason to feel the way I did. Every time you get behind the wheel, you participate in one of the most dangerous activities you can on a daily basis. Many more people die in car accidents than plane crashes. This time my gut instinct was proved wrong, but next time, will I be so lucky?

I a classic case of “what was I thinking” I did something today kind of silly. I registered for the LSAT. That in and of itself is not silly. I might want to go to law school (although I haven’t decided by any means), and if decide I do want to go, I will have to take the LSAT, and it would be kind of silly to start making plans to go to law when I don’t even know if I could get in (I need a pretty strong LSAT score since my final GPA for Mason was about a 3.1).The reason it is silly to sign up for the LSAT, which is on September 30th, and costs $118, is because my stress plate is already filled up to the brim. And that, my friends, is mixing two analogies that don’t mix. Regardless of my analogies, I have a lot of stressful things going on right now. For instance, I don’t know where I’ll be living on September 30th. I’m looking for a job, I might move, money is not exactly flowing like I would like it to, and I’ve been working an awful lot.

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