The Drunken Blog

Coincidences. Some people claim that there is no such thing as a coincidence, that everything happens for a reason as part of a larger, master plan, which was obviously designed in an intelligent manner. All I know is what happened to me was weird and there is a word that covers it, so I’m just going to stick with Webster on this one and say that coincidences do happen. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be a word for it.

Don’t worry, this won’t be a post about semantics, but about an actual, freaking weird, coincidence that happened to me. You may remember that I dated a lesbian. It was a somewhat awkward relationship, awkward for her because she was a lesbian and I was not a woman, and awkward for me because she was a lesbian, and I was still not a woman. That was my junior year of high school, fast forward 6 years to present day, minus 2 months.

My good Office Friend informs me that she is interviewing some new girl that will be helping her out a lot. The first question out of my mouth, of course, is, “Is she hot?” Unfortunately Office Friend hadn’t actually had the interview yet and all she knew about her was her name and the school she went to. Her last name is probably the most common last name in the entire country, so I figured my chances of actually finding her would be slim to none.

(more…)

Many people have the common misconception that Virginia is a southern state. While it is true that it is below the Mason-Dixon line, and therefore techincally a southern state, it is not really that south. Granted, parts of Virginia are, in fact, I would go so far as to say most of the state is southern. There are, however, two exceptions, Northern Virginia and Virginia Beach. Is it a coincedence that these are the only two places in Virginia that I’ve lived? No, I don’t think so, and here’s why.

(more…)

If you’ll remember, the other day I made a post about Jesus Fish and the people that have said fish are usually pricks. Well, apparently God read my blog when I said that because today, a mere two days later, the exact same thing happened with the exact same car. I could not believe it. I actually took a picture of it on my phone; you can’t tell anything other than the fact that it’s a red car…

Now, I don’t know what He’s saying about my social commentary. I mean, it could be that he agrees with me, and I should take this as a sign to put everybody that has a Jesus Fish on their car in his or her place. Or maybe he’s saying that I’m wrong, and I need to find Jesus, or else I’ll act like a prick. Or maybe he just wants me to watch déjà vu, I mean, I am a fan of Denzel Washington and all, but I wasn’t really planning on watching the movie. I’ve heard of people making deals with the devil, but Denzel is a pretty nice guy, he probably made a deal with God, and God is just upholding his end of the bargain. Or maybe it’s a new viral ad campaign for the movie, although I think if that was the case, a bumper sticker with Denzel’s face would probably be more effective than a Jesus Fish, unless they’re trying to say that Denzel is God… I mean, he’s a good actor and all, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s the Son of God.

Maybe He’s just trying to get my attention for more subtle sign signaling an event that will have even more importance than trying to get me to see déjà vu. I guess now that God has my attention, I should be on the look out for what he wants me to do with this information. I mean, anything could be a sign now. An old lady crossing the street - that could mean that I need to help euthanize old people for their journey from this life to the next. If I find a dollar on the ground, maybe I should play the lottery.

One nice thing, I have to say, about my job is that since I get here at around 8am each morning, there’s really no work for me to do (although, ironically, there is some today) so I have time to write on my blog, which is great, because I want to take a moment to talk about Jesus Fish and movie theaters.

No, they aren’t related.

(more…)