Don’t laugh, but I read books. I know that’s passé and that none of the cool kids are reading books these days (other than Harry Potter and Twilight, of course). Of course, periodicals are OK, even better if you read them on your phone, but bust out a classic by Jane Austin and prepare to be emasculated, even if you’re a chick.
Every year, full time employees at Circuit City would receive three new shirts. I worked there for four years, though I was not technically full time for that first year, so I only got two shirts then. I also got some other shirts when I was promoted, and again when I began my management training.
In all, I have about 22 Circuit City polo shirts. I’ve just had them in a trashbag in my closet for the last three years, not really wanting to let go of them, but not knowing exactly what to do with them.
I recently organized my closet and added in some more shelf space, and in the process decided that I finally needed to let go of the shirts – they were out of business, if I couldn’t get rid of the shirts now, I would never be able to get rid of them. (more…)
I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer. At least, my mom has always wanted me to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or an astronaut, or the President. I guess that’s what mom’s do, hope that their children take up amazing professions and make lots of money so that the parents will be taken care of in their old age. Well, I considered being a lawyer, I even took the LSAT, which is the admittance test for law school.
The LSAT, as it tends to do, didn’t even have the common decency to lube up before it had its way with me. It was not a pleasant experience. And yet, I’m still considering going into law school, and I have several friends who agree with that notion. It would fit in well with my current career, but of course, it’s expensive and takes a lot of time.
And why bother going to law school when you can sue somebody without going? You just have to make sure you sue somebody for less than $5000, which is what I’m doing.
I don’t really think of myself as a good writer. I’m very critical of what I write to the point that it becomes tedious and arduous to read, so generally I don’t read what I write. If I’m lucky I’ll proofread a story to make sure that while I was changing thoughts mid-sentence that I remembered to go back and make the rest of the sentence cohesive. Recently, however, I was forced to go back and read a story that I had written.
The story was about a housewarming party and it apparently made me some enemies. Somebody disliked that story enough to give me a mild death threat in the comments section. The reason that I went back to read that story is because I randomly ran into the person that sent me the death threat. Let me explain.
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Recently I’ve been frequenting a fine establishment called McFadden’s. It’s located in Foggy Bottom, and I used to live within walking distance of it for about 4 months after I graduated. In that four month period, I think I went there once. But all that has changed. It changed because Mary won a free happy hour. And what’s more, all of her friends get $1 beers and rails during that time. The only problem with this awesome deal is the fact that it only happens on Tuesdays.
I used to go out drinking on Thursdays while I was in college, and I even resumed the trend after meeting some new friends that were still in college, but I never regularly drank on a Tuesday night. And here I am, having gotten drunk for the past three weeks in a row on a Tuesday night. You see, it’s not a huge deal when somebody wins the free happy hour, everybody eventually wins. In fact, the second time we went Jake and I signed up for the mailing list and Jake found out the next day that he won. I unfortunately did not, but I’m just waiting for my comeuppance.
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Have you ever obligated yourself to meet up with somebody that you know in your heart of hearts is just a plain bad idea, but somehow in a moment of weakness you did anyway? This usually happens with an ex when you are intoxicated, but that’s not always the case. I know personally there are some people that I like more when I’m in a certain kind of mood. I don’t know who those people are, or what that mood is, specifically, but I know it happens.
After you realize what you’ve done, you try desperately to get out of it, if you’re like most people. I, however, would rather sit through an awkward encounter than try to weasel my way out of it. If I say I am going to do something, I am going to do it, even if I’m drunk when I say it – as long as I remember. An example of this would be the other night when I was coming home from a happy hour in DC. I wasn’t driving, because I was drunk, and I tried to put on Mary’s bracelet as a necklace. The scary thing about that situation was the fact that it actually fit over my head and around my neck. The problem was that it didn’t fit on the way off. So I broke her brand new pearl bracelet the first time she got to wear it. I felt really bad about it and I told her I would replace it for her. She didn’t take me seriously, but the next day I sent her a tracking number for the new bracelet.
Of course, there was also guilt motivating me there, but in general if I say something I stick to it because I don’t like it when other people say they are going to do something just to assuage you when they really have no intention of doing said action at all. I’d rather just be told “No, I don’t think I’m going to do that.”
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By all accounts, this weekend should have been awesome. Hell, if I just listed off all of my activities, you would be in awe of how awesome my weekend was, and yet somehow I managed to wet-blanket it. I’m going to blame it on my cold, which in retrospect, seems like a viable excuse, but it still sucks, because I did some awesome stuff this weekend.
On Friday, a journey to find some jumbo slice pizza, or JS as we started to call it (we were saying that we wanted jumbo slice so much that it was actually worthwhile for us to abbreviate it), turned into us making it into a club with a $20 cover for free, just the three of us guys, seeing Tito Ortiz of UFC fame, going to a gentleman’s club, and then, the next day, I went to Atlantic City. Like I said, it sounds like a pretty awesome weekend.
Going out to DC is a big deal. It’s too far away to effectively drive, parking is inconvenient, cabs are too pricey, and the metro closes at 2am. And yet, for some reason, I love going out to DC. It’s not something I do every weekend, and I have to be in the right mood for it, but DC is usually a good time.
My last visit to DC was an exception, however. Maybe it’s because I had imbibed heavily the two previous nights in a row and I was just plane pooped out. Maybe it’s because being in the presence of attractive girls makes me act sober. Maybe it’s because I picked up an unlucky penny. Mayhap it’s because after having had so much alcohol in such a period of time, the alcohol had taken the place of the inhibitory neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid and as a result of which my brain compensated by reducing the natural creation of GABA meaning that I would have to drink copious amounts of alcohol just to feel “normal.”
Obviously I don’t drink that much if I am able to remember that lesson from biology class.
It was most likely that I was predisposed to have a bad time. I wasn’t in the mood for going out, really. I mean, I would have been fine with a chill evening of drinking, but I never would have suggested going out to DC in my condition. However, I was coaxed out by Mary. To her defense, she didn’t have to coax that hard, pretty much the mention of Nancy and Ricky coming out was enough to get me to go out.
I don’t get sick often. And when I say sick in this particular instance, I’m talking about getting a cold, the flu, or TB, and not getting sick from drinking too much (is it even possible to drink too much!?). When I do get a cold, it always seems to be when the weather changes, but not the way you would expect – when the weather changes from cold to hot is when I seem to be most susceptible. I’m not sure why this would be, other than the fact that God doesn’t want me to enjoy the nice weather.
When I am well, I always tout the wonderful magical properties of alcohol. Its amazing ability to kill germs, warm you up when it’s cold out, and make everybody look more attractive. When other people are sick, I tell them they should drink beer because “it will kill the germs.” This is silly advice, I thought to myself. I mean, drinking thins your blood and actually lowers your immune system. So unless you had an autoimmune disease, alcohol is probably going to make you worse.
While on Liberty Square Rounds, Set II, Resident Advisor (hereinafter, RA)
Humbertson and RA Shah approached 2nd Floor, D Wing, RA Humbertson and RA
Shah could hear the sound of ping-pong balls bouncing accompanied by
laughing. RA Humbertson identified the location of the sounds coming from
LS, D205. RA Humbertson and RA Shah stopped and RA Humbertson Knocked. (more…)