Why I Hate E-Books: Classical Zombie Edition
Don’t laugh, but I read books. I know that’s passé and that none of the cool kids are reading books these days (other than Harry Potter and Twilight, of course). Of course, periodicals are OK, even better if you read them on your phone, but bust out a classic by Jane Austin and prepare to be emasculated, even if you’re a chick.
I remember when I was in middle school, I held some strange company, and one of the members of that company was a larger girl with died black hair who had an unnatural love of books, probably as an excuse for (or result of) not having an active social life (though, me and one other friend of her’s had a great time at laser tag for her birthday). She was the type of girl that read books at the college level (because back then it was all the rage to read books above your grade level).
Now, I’m not saying that she wasn’t cool because she read lots of books, I’m saying she wasn’t cool because she read lots of books, was socially awkward, and bragged about reading and re-reading books such as Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice – books I barely even read the Cliff’s Notes for when they were assigned to me in high school.
The irony, then, is not lost on me that now I am going to publicize my inability to successfully procure said book (or rather, a derivative of that book) for my Sony e-book reader. It’s not due to a lack of availability, there is obviously unlimited availability for e-books, it’s due to a lack of principles. You see, I am not able to find a free version of the book online. Don’t get me wrong, I have found plenty of audiobook versions of the text available for illicit download, but I want to read – it makes me feel like I’m getting smarter.
So I went to the Sony e-book store. They happen to have a copy of the book for which I am looking for the low low price of $9.89. Inclusive of a whopping 10% discount. It almost pained me to pay that much for an e-book, I mean, I could probably find a paperback version of the book for about that price.
Turns out I was wrong on that point – the paperback version is actually less than that price, including shipping. Lucky $7.77 in fact. And it’s not from some no-name e-tailer, it’s from amazon.com. Interestingly enough, the paperback and Kindle version of the book are the same price. Unfortunately, the Kindle version is proprietary and can only be delivered to Kindles over the air.
I’m sure you see the many obvious problems in that, so I won’t bother to point them out. I will point out the less obvious point in that I am missing out on classic zombie literature due to this breakdown in stuff being cheap for me. Yes, the derivative of Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice that I want to buy is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!. Not only does it have zombies in the title – twice, but it makes reference to a A Clockwork Orange. How could I not have this book?!
The worst part about all of this is that I am going on a flight tomorrow for work with my boss, and when she asks me what I am reading, I really want to be able to tell her I am reading a Jane Austin book about zombies.
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