Drinking and Dating
Have you ever obligated yourself to meet up with somebody that you know in your heart of hearts is just a plain bad idea, but somehow in a moment of weakness you did anyway? This usually happens with an ex when you are intoxicated, but that’s not always the case. I know personally there are some people that I like more when I’m in a certain kind of mood. I don’t know who those people are, or what that mood is, specifically, but I know it happens.
After you realize what you’ve done, you try desperately to get out of it, if you’re like most people. I, however, would rather sit through an awkward encounter than try to weasel my way out of it. If I say I am going to do something, I am going to do it, even if I’m drunk when I say it – as long as I remember. An example of this would be the other night when I was coming home from a happy hour in DC. I wasn’t driving, because I was drunk, and I tried to put on Mary’s bracelet as a necklace. The scary thing about that situation was the fact that it actually fit over my head and around my neck. The problem was that it didn’t fit on the way off. So I broke her brand new pearl bracelet the first time she got to wear it. I felt really bad about it and I told her I would replace it for her. She didn’t take me seriously, but the next day I sent her a tracking number for the new bracelet.
Of course, there was also guilt motivating me there, but in general if I say something I stick to it because I don’t like it when other people say they are going to do something just to assuage you when they really have no intention of doing said action at all. I’d rather just be told “No, I don’t think I’m going to do that.”
That’s what I should have said to myself when I set up this happy hour meeting with Kelly. Kelly and I have a somewhat checkered past which I won’t go into because it (rightly) makes me look like a douche. But suffice it to say that back in college we hooked up on several occasions. Now we are at the friend status, but it is still a somewhat tumultuous relationship; especially considering the fact that our conversations usually create an enormous amount of sexual tension. The problem is that I’m pretty sure I burned any bridge to booby town which makes those conversations all the more frustrating.
It was after one of these types of conversations, via IM, that I told her she had to get some drinks with me. She agreed, and although she was pretty committed to it, she kept avoiding a firm date of when she would actually be able to come out. I didn’t really pursue it further because I thought better of the situation, but then we would have another one of those conversations, and I would be reminded of the fact that we were to have drinks, and I would then remind her, and she would consent to getting drinks, but once more, it would never happen.
This went on for quite some time until finally we nailed down a time and place to grab drinks. With all this buildup I couldn’t help but think to myself “this can’t be just drinks.” And knowing that probably my greatest shortcoming when it comes to the ladies is not being assertive enough, I took down some liquid confidence before I left for happy hour (which was within walking distance from me). I drank a couple of extremely potent rum and cokes, which goes against my rule of drinking alone, but I figured I would be drinking with somebody soon enough.
It should be seen as an omen of things to come if you think that you need to get a head start on drinking before you meet up with somebody (a pre-pregame?). In retrospect, it is a really poor idea.
So we met up for drinks at Uno’s, the happy hour special there is not bad, I think it’s $2.50 for a tallboy Bud Light. Kelly got some sort of frou-frou drink- several frou-frou drinks, actually. We also ordered some appetizers. It was at that point that Jake called and wanted to know where I was and if I would be home for dinner. The previous day we had purchased a pound of shrimp that was on sale and he wanted to cook it. Despite the fact that we just ordered food, I told him we would be there. Although I didn’t realize that Jake was going to call, trying to get Kelly back to my place for a few more drinks was a part of some plan that I would have liked to make, but never formally did. Jake calling just made it easy to execute the un-thought of plan.
By the time we walked back I was stumbling some; I was also pretty touchy feely, although nothing inappropriate. When we got back Jake questioned my sobriety – I guess it’s easy to tell when other people are drunk if you are stone-cold sober. We ate dinner, it was pasta with the shrimp thrown in, and then Jake had to leave, he was watching a movie with a friend of his, but Kelly stayed. If I had made a real plan to begin with, everything would be going according to it at this point.
We played some Wii, and then she withheld something from me, I think it was the Wii remote. Of course, keep-away is a great excuse to be really hands-on, and can often lead to other things happening. The plan which I never could have dreamed up was going off without a hitch. And suddenly, everything went to shit. Despite her big boobs, Kelly is not an idiot and she realized that although I may not have had a plan, that everything was going according to it, and she knew the end goal of the plan. So before anything could happen, like a fat kid on a see-saw, she shut things down. And I’m not talking about turning the TV off.
After she made it abundantly clear that nothing was going to happen, things were a bit awkward. Just as an aside here, I’m always confused in movies and TV shows where the girl says no, but the guy says yes, and then while the guy is saying yes in her mouth, she decides to change her mind and say yes too. How does that work? Obviously it’s a movie and not real, but the point is, when does that hesitant no actually mean yes? When are they just being coy or playing hard to get when they actually want it as bad as you do? It’s not something worth exploring for me, as I’m not the pushy type, and I respect girl’s wishes, but if ever I was going to do a movie/TV scene, this probably would have been it.
But I didn’t, and she eventually left without incident, and I felt somewhat dumb for having invited her out at all. It was probably for the best that things played out the way they did. Things probably would have gotten mighty complicated had we hooked up, and in retrospect I’m glad we didn’t, because I didn’t have a plan for that at all.
[UPDATED] In case you were wondering what sort of conversations I could possibly be having with Kelly to warrant my continued responses, here is an example:
(1:13:37 PM) Kelly: so wanna hear an interesting story
(1:13:49 PM) justin: Sure
(1:14:28 PM) Kelly: one of my guy friends who is bissexual has made it his mission to find me a girl i did not ask and he apparently has found the girl and she’s been trying to talk to me for a week on aim
(1:14:32 PM) Kelly: i dunno what to think
(1:15:07 PM) justin: Have you sufficiently stalked her on either facebook or myspace?
(1:15:35 PM) Kelly: yea
(1:15:38 PM) Kelly: want her link
(1:15:49 PM) justin: sure
(1:17:54 PM) Kelly: do i give u her name?
(1:17:58 PM) Kelly: oh copy the link
(1:17:58 PM) justin: No
(1:18:05 PM) Kelly: [redacted]
(1:18:49 PM) justin: The picture is kind of small
(1:18:53 PM) justin: So it’s hard to tell
(1:19:03 PM) justin: But from the little I can see she looks cute enough
(1:19:08 PM) justin: Have you responded back yet?
(1:19:11 PM) Kelly: u cant get into her profile?
(1:19:15 PM) justin: Nope
(1:19:19 PM) Kelly: ah
(1:19:24 PM) Kelly: thats stupid
(1:19:30 PM) justin: Are you friends with her?
(1:19:35 PM) Kelly: yea
(1:19:36 PM) justin: Or did she request your friendship?
(1:19:37 PM) justin: yea
(1:19:43 PM) Kelly: she requested me
(1:19:53 PM) justin: yea, when somebody requests you, you get to see their profile
(1:20:05 PM) Kelly: well i added her
(1:20:32 PM) justin: So, have you actually spoken with her?
(1:21:24 PM) Kelly: like 2 words then internet kicked me off
(1:22:18 PM) justin: Well, you could always communicate via messages on facebook
(1:25:54 PM) Kelly: true
(1:26:01 PM) Kelly: but i check it once in a bluemoon
(1:26:12 PM) justin: ah, right
(1:26:17 PM) justin: I check multiple times per day
(1:26:41 PM) justin: Well, good luck with her
(1:27:30 PM) justin: oh wow
(1:27:37 PM) justin: I actually have a lot of friends in common with her
(1:28:01 PM) Kelly: lol great
(1:28:21 PM) Kelly: maybe if things go interestingly enough that application can be reconsidered
(1:28:25 PM) Kelly: anwyays im off
I should point out that the “application” that she is talking about was something that came up quite a while ago between us. Kelly had just mentioned that she was a latent bisexual (just in theory, not in practice) and she had a girl that she was willing to have a threesome with; they just needed to find the right guy. She suggested that I should fill out an application for the position.
Other posts by Justin
October 15th, 2007 at 10:46 am
[…] Apparently my subconscious was abnormally loud on that fateful day and Mary took up the cause as well. Of course, she had ulterior motives, namely, she had driven home from every concert except for the one on her birthday and she didn’t want to drive home from this one. Unwittingly, we started playing my favorite game – whoever drinks the least loses and has to drive home. In retrospect, this kind of reminds me of another event. It almost seemed as if a plan I had laid out months ago was coming to fruition, of course, I don’t have the foresight to make any plans more than a week in advance, and even if I did, I would have cancelled them given recent events (i.e., Mary and Jake’s “dating” status). […]