The Drunken Blog

This weekend was my little sister’s high school graduation; she went to the same school that my older sister and I went to. My older sister, who lives in the Keys came up to visit me in DC on Thursday, we were going to drive down on Friday for the ceremony on Saturday.

I worked all day Thursday and I got home only to discover that my sister’s flight had been delayed. This was not such a bad thing it gave me more time to clean up my place. However, I didn’t get it as clean as I wanted to because we had company. And of course when company comes over, we have to drink. We made plans to go out after I picked up Sara from the airport, I would bring a 2 liter bottle of soda and a flask of rum and we would meet my friends out.

I picked up Sara from the airport and we went over to a friend’s house to pregame some more before we went out. Sara did not drink any of the rum; it made me cry a little on the inside. When we got to my friend’s house, Jeff was already there so we all continued to drink. Eventually we made it to Ned Devine’s, aka, Ned’s, aka Not-Ned’s, aka Auld Shebeen.

By this point I am drunk, but not wasted, although you wouldn’t be able to tell by my demeanor. You see, there was another X-Factor involved tonight – I had just got offered that new job. Yup, it was going to be one of those types of nights.

So, while I wasn’t wasted, I was acting like I had a .2 BAC, and what is the first thing you do when you’re drunk? you spend more money on drinks! When we got to the bar I immediately ordered a round of rum and cokes, five of them, to be exact. I thought the coke would be a good idea, what with the caffeine and all. The downside of ordering mixed drinks is that while it is half the size of a beer, it has the same amount of alcohol, which allows you to drink it much faster than a beer.

I passed around the drinks and before I knew it, I had finished my rum and coke. I didn’t really think anything of it until I looked around at all of my friends and noticed that all of them and only taken one or two sips from their drinks. This was going to be a long night.

Luckily, Michele’s (hot) friend showed right about now, she gave me an excuse to go back up to the bar and get more drunk. When I asked if I could get her something from the bar, I was a little confused by her response. She kind of waffled around for a little bit, avoiding giving a straight answer, until she finally said that she didn’t have money to buy a drink. I then explained that I was offering to buy her a drink, which she quickly accepted. I was confused at the time, because normally attractive girls are used to having drinks purchased for them, I didn’t really understand where the breakdown in communication occurred. I later found out that she had just recently turned 21, which would make sense- she hasn’t been going to bars long enough to realize that she is attractive enough to leave her wallet at home when she goes out drinking.

After noticing how quickly I drank the rum and coke I thought it would be a good idea if I switched to something a little more watered down, so I got Bud Light. I got two, one for myself, and one for New Hot Friend. At this point our group and made its way to the dance floor, but had not started dancing yet. We were all just standing on the outskirts, possibly waiting for the right song to get us in the right mood. In our defense, it was still relatively early, and nobody was really dancing on the dance floor.

I handed New Hot Friend her beer and then Michele stole my drink. Well, not stole so much as exchanged. Apparently she didn’t want her rum and coke, so she traded me for the beer. I purposefully bought the beer so I would slow down, but it looked like God wanted me to go crazy, and go crazy I did.

I finished my second rum and coke about the same time that my friend finished his first. He went to the bar and offered to get me a beer, I graciously accepted and I finally had that Bud Light I was pining for.

After I got the Bud Light the dancing started. It was relaxed at first, just the normal white man shuffle, but it soon evolved into much more than that. Imagine Elaine Benes from Seinfeld on crack, and that probably gives you some indication of what I was like that night. I actually have a movie of the sweet moves I was pulling off. Unfortunately, it was pretty dark, so it’s hard to make me out, but you can still tell what’s going on, although you may not believe it.

In addition to making a complete fool of myself, I felt kind of bad about what happened. I didn’t do anything bad (other than dancing), but I can’t even imagine what Hot New Friend would think of me after exhibiting the scene that I did. I mean, if I had met a girl for the first time and she was dancing like I was, well, I honestly can’t think of how I would react. And if I can’t think about that situation, there’s not a chance I could put myself in her shoes and try to guess what she would take away from the encounter.

The way I see it, there’s only three possibilities; either (1) she is completely enamored with my dance moves and she wants to have my baby (unlikely), (2) she saw me dancing and does not want to associate with me at all because she thinks I can’t handle my alcohol and I am just a fool, or (3), she is indifferent towards me and my dancing had a very slight or no impact on her impression of me. If I had to guess, I would say it’s a combination of 2 and 3.

In addition to not knowing how to accept a free drink New Hot Friend also did not like to be photographed, even though she was extremely photogenic. You see, I like to take candid photos, capturing people actually having a good time doing what they went to the bar to do, dance, drink, and being social. Unfortunately for my subjects, these do not always make the most flattering pictures. New Hot Friend, however, would only take posed pictures, and it was like pulling teeth to even do that. This made for some very stereotypical pictures. Now, I don’t mind taking posed pictures, but one or two is enough, because after that they all start looking the same. So with New Hot Friend I have about 20 pictures in which she looks the exact same in every one.

Having a million pictures look the same is boring in my book. Maybe if New Hot Friend comes out again she’ll warm up to the whole random picture thing.

The rest of this story is really too hard to put into words, as it would just be me describing my dance moves, so I’ll spare that and work on posting a video so you can see exactly what I am talking about here (because I think you guys just don’t really believe I did what I said I did here).

By the end of the night I had sweated out most of the alcohol and I ended up driving home (don’t worry, I waited a couple of hours before I did). The next day was pretty rough at work and Saturday would be an adventure of epic proportions.

Other posts by Justin

This entry was posted on Monday, June 18th, 2007 at 9:03 am and is filed under friends, oops, video, alcohol, girls, what?, Kara . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.