The Drunken Blog

I had an interesting conversation the other day with Doug. I had a story that I want to tell, but it doesn’t exactly shed the best light on me, and while it’s not horrible, it’s something that I wouldn’t ordinarily volunteer to my mom, who reads this. Doug convinced me that if I started to censor my posts it would suck. I agreed. So, as best I can remember, here is the story of how I received a death threat on facebook.

Last spring I had no plans for Spring Break. I obviously wanted to do something, it being my last legitimate Spring Break before I become the creepy guy that has graduated from college but still goes out to college Spring Breaks. A good friend of mine said that she was getting a hotel in Miami and that I should come with. She said I didn’t have to pay for the hotel; I just had to get myself down there. I found out what flight she was on and booked it right away.

She also had a friend going down with her. I’ll call her friend Crom. I remember getting to the airport to depart and seeing Jess and Crom and Crom gave me about the most awesome unwelcome one could expect. Apparently she was upset that I was coming on this trip because it was supposed to be a girls only trip, blah blah blah. And she certainly let me know she felt that way; which is kind of ironic when you consider what happened later that week.

I guess it’s important to mention that while I was talking to Jess before, planning for the trip, she mentioned that Crom would be coming, and it was originally going to be just the two of them going, but it would be totally cool if I came down too. I made her reiterate this fact several times until I felt comfortable with it. I then pressed for details on this Crom girl. One nice thing about Jess is that she is probably the most honest girl I have met, especially when it comes to commenting on the attractiveness of her friends. She said her friend was cute, but she was engaged.

When I met Crom at the airport, I found out that Jess was correct on both accounts – Crom was indeed engaged, and she was also cute. She had an awesome body, but not an incredibly awesome face. Not to say that she was ugly, like I said, she was cute. She was also a very interesting girl. Like I mentioned, she came right out of the gates letting me know she was not happy that I was there. She was a pretty self centered girl. It was in an interesting way, too. She was self centered in a way that made you wonder if she was joking. But then she kept doing it, so you knew she had to be serious. It was also in a way that might seem cute, but it gets old real quick. What did I care, though? I was in Miami and I wasn’t marrying this girl, I was looking for other girls to marry for the night.

The trip was a lot of fun, and involved a lot of drinking. We ended up visiting my sister in Marathon Key, and then driving down to Key West for a couple of days. On one of the last days that we were in Miami, we went to this club. The club was pretty cool, I guess, until you realized that the cover was crazy expensive and the drinks were $8 each. We of course pregamed before hand, but $8 a pop to keep a buzz going is ridiculous. And yet, somehow I didn’t pay for any drinks that night. Both Jess and Crom took money out of the ATM and gave it to me. So while I did technically pay for all of the drinks that night, I didn’t pay with any of my own money.

We go out on the dance floor and start dancing. Somehow I start dancing with Crom, and I think we are both drunk enough so that we start making out on the dance floor. Jess sees us doing this, and like somebody who just found their dog peeing on the rug, she came over and hit us on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Jess, however, finds a guy of her own to dance with, and quickly forgets about us. Not surprisingly, Crom and I start making out again.

We don’t stay for much longer at this point, so we get a cab back to our hotel. Jess and Crom are sharing a bed I the bedroom, while I am sleeping on the pull out couch in the living room. I pull out the couch and Jess and Crom retire to their room, before too long Crom comes out of the room and into the pullout bed with me. I won’t get into too specific details here, because lets face it, this is not a romance novel. But I will say that she got naked, I left my boxers on, and although she really wanted “something” to happen, I wouldn’t let it. I guess the best analogy I can give would be to say that I hit the ball in the gap, so it should have been a double, but the fielder broke his leg on the way, so while it would have been ridiculously easy to run to third, and just as easy to get an infield homerun, I stayed on second base, out of respect for the game, I suppose.

This was a pretty big moral dilemma for me. This girl was engaged to be married and was willing to cheat on her fiancé. Depending on your definition of cheat, we had already gotten to that point, so what difference would it make if we went the rest of the way? On the other hand, she was engaged, and kissing somebody is a lot different than other sex acts, although that brings up the point of intent. Clearly she had the intent to cuckold her soon to be husband that night. Does it make any difference that I didn’t actually let it happen? I mean, she clearly wanted it to happen, is that intent just as bad actually doing it? The court would say so in terms of murder. But where is this line? Obviously men and women think about having sex outside of their marriage all of the time, but most of the time they don’t act on it - I that is just a subjective line that depends on your significant other.

The next day we head back up to DC, and then head to our respective universities. During the vacation, I had become facebook friends with Crom, which I would later discover would be a mistake. I would like to preface the next part of this story with a little bit of the psychology of cheating.

I know this is going to sound like a double standard, but it’s just the way things are. When a guy cheats it’s usually because he is somewhat bored in a relationship, or because he got really drunk, or whatever. Just because he cheated doesn’t mean that he necessarily wants out of the relationship, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that he loves his girlfriend or wife or fiancé any less. Girls on the other hand, cheat only when they want to get out of a relationship. They cheat to get caught, probably not consciously, but somehow, they always manage to get caught, and it always ends the relationship.

The following is a perfect example of that. Crom had not reason to tell her fiancé about anything that happened between us in Miami. Why would she? As far as he knew, I was a good friend of Jess, and I could have been hooking up with her, he would have no reason at all to suspect anything. Which means that she either casually let suitcase nukes slip or, she just went and borrowed the Enola Gay from the Air and Space Museum to recreate Hiroshima, and just told him everything at once. I’m guessing that the first example is the case, where she slowly leaked information and let him put together the pieces until he figured out enough to force a confession out of Crom.

Well, here’s a funny thing about facebook. There is an option to put in your address and phone number so that only friends can see it. That seems safe enough, I mean, you want your friends to have your phone number. It’s actually pretty cool that you can show your contact info to people who you know, and block it from random people. The only problem with this is when the fiancé gets on the cheating girls computer to look for the guy with which she cheated.

Before he called me he decided it would be appropriate to leave me a death threat on my wall on facebook, which is something that can get you banned from facebook. I saw the note, and got a little chuckle out of it. I mean, I felt bad for the guy. Later that night, he decided it would be a good idea to call me. By the way, did I mention that this guy is a personal trainer, and is a body builder?

Normally I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t recognize, and tonight would be no different. There was a good TV show on so I saw no reason to answer the call. But then he called again. I don’t know if I answered that time, or the time after, but the conversation was pretty interesting.

Remember how I said I like to avoid confrontation? Well, now would be no exception. This is a rough transcription of the call. This happened a year ago, so you’ll have to excuse the inaccuracies.

Me: Hello?
Him: Hey guy, how you doing?
M: Who is this?
H: You know who this is.
M: No I don’t.
H: This is Crom’s fiancé.
M: Reaaaaaaaaaly? That’s not good.
H: Why would you do that to my girl?
M: I’m sorry?
H: She had 18 drinks that night, and you took advantage of her.
M: It won’t happen again?
H: I should come down there and kick your ass.
M: I’m sorry?

This goes on for a while like this, me basically apologizing, and him getting out some frustration. I was really tempted to tell him that I wasn’t cheating on anybody, and that maybe he should talk to his fiancé, who was the one that cheated. Maybe they should sit down and have a nice long conversation to see if they are both actually ready for marriage, because they obviously aren’t.

I know what happened, she “let it slip” that she cheated on him, and then she blamed the alcohol, and then she blamed me. Since it is pretty hard to yell at alcohol, the guy decided to call and yell at me. Like I said, I really did feel bad for the guy, I mean, I can only imagine how mad I would be if I found out that my fiancé was cheating on me. I really didn’t see a reason to make him any madder than he was, especially since he did have my address, and while I wouldn’t seriously think that he would come down, crazy things happen when cheating is involved.

I’m not sure what happened to their relationship. When I was thinking about writing this story I actually went on the facebook to see if it still said that she was engaged, but she removed me as a friend. For the best, I’m sure.

Other posts by Justin

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 28th, 2007 at 9:46 am and is filed under good times, friends, oops, alcohol, girls . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.