Twas the Night Before January the 20th
It’s safe to say that I am drunk right now. It’s a Friday night, and I am sad. I went to went to work, and I remembered that there was a company sponsored happy hour, which made me happy. But I was sad because I thought I might miss the happy hour because my boss might make me stay late, but she realized that there was a happy hour and let me go.
So I went to the happy hour and I drank 5 Sam Adam’s Winter Brew’s in an hours time. Feeling like something was going to happen on this magical Friday night, I stopped by the liquor store on my way back to my car. Clearly a good idea.
Throughout the entire day I had been trying to make plans, but I couldn’t nail anything down. A friend and his new girlfriend were going out to Arlington, but Arlington is kind of expensive and hard to go to. Another friend was going to Fairfax, but Fairfax is far away, although easy to go to, bug probably sub-optimal times. Other friends were going to undisclosed locations in Georgetown – if only they had told me before I drove back to Maryland. But alas, they didn’t. I had received an e-mail saying that people were going to see a band at a crappy bar in Fairfax, but that’s pretty far for me to go for a crappy band.
I decided instead that I would go back to my grandma’s house to regroup. I had my rum, and I had a nice cold coke in a can waiting for me in the fridge, I just had one obstacle to go through, my grandma. She is on the computer, if you can believe it. I think I am in the clear, so I grab a cup, go to the freezer and get some ice, and get a can of coke out of the fridge. It is just then thet she walks away from the computer and over to me.
For Christmas she got me a gift certificate to a nursery so that I can get a plant for my new place. Of course, she picks now as the time to tell me about all fo the plants that she has. I have no clue what she is talking about, but I am buzzed, so I just nod and follow along. Eventually I sort of walk away, no closure to the conversation, just me walking up the stairs as she is talking. I know it sounds mean, but trust me, it’s the only way to get away.
So I am know in my room with some nice cold coke, and a bottle of rum, what to do, what to do. I’m sure you can guess what I did. I opened the rum and mixed it with some coke. At the same time I checked my e-mail. I had a one from 96x, a radio station in Virginia Beach. I have been selected to do a survey and get $50 for my time. Awesome.
I start the survey and realize I have to listen to 501 songs. Yes, that’s not a typo, I had to listen to 501 songs. Granted, they were just clips, but still, 501 times anything is a lot. But I did it. I did it while sipping on my rum and coke to keep my buzz going, and while talking to people on instant messenger. I had some good conversations, as usually happens when I get drunk. However, I was getting very frustrated because I was getting to the point where I could just pass out, but it was only 1, 0pm, and I hadn’t really done anything for the night.
So Chuck was my savior. He sent me a text asking me if I was going out. I was literally about to go bed at that point, but I asked him if it was worth it, and he assured me it was. I put my pants back on and I was out the door. I found the ballroom, and with only a $5 cover, I was in. Much more reasonable than the $15 last week.
I met Chuck, Lindsay, and girl. I would soon find out that girl had a name, and I started talking to girl quite a bit. We actually hit it off, or so I thought. I can’t speak for her, so I don’t know what she was thinking, but I certainly managed to talk quite more than I normally do.
At this point, I was still drunk, and everybody around me seemed to be drunk, which could just be a condition of me being drunk, but regardless, I thought it was time to dance, so everybody went out to the dance floor. I didn’t really dance, I did the group dance thing, which means there was a circle and I was on the outside of it, dancing conservatively. While I was doing this, a girl walked by, breasts first. She totally rubbed her boobs against me, and it worked to get my attention. I don’t recall how attractive she was, but she did have a good attention getter, which is imperative in any writing.
She obviously was not writing, and she was not dancing either. I talked more shit to her than probably any other girl, ever. I don’t know why, either. Maybe because I was drunk or maybe because I was trying to get rid of her, or maybe a combination of the two. I told her that I was an awesome danser (lie) and that she was a horrible dancer (the truth) and that she would have to prove to me that she was a good dancer if she wanted to keep my attention. She was unable to keep my attention, even though her boobs kept rubbing up against me, and eventually Lindsay saved me from her.
That was pretty much the end of the night, unfortunately. We all left, and I drove Melissa home. In retrospect, I feel as if I should have invited myself up after giving her a ride home, but I am somewhat content where I am right now, which is with me writing in a drunken state. Clearly not as good as hooking up, but what are you going to do? Drive home drunk apparently.
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