The Drunken Blog

In what had to be one of the most random nights in recent history, I got to see Jeff in his element – last call on the dance floor with only one other person there in a bar in Bethesda. Let me tell you how we got there, though.

It starts because it is end of the semester – not for me, I’m done with school (for now, anyway). My good friend Jess wants to hang out. It’s been entirely too long since we had hung out, and she was in town, so I of course agreed. I suggested we go out of a Friday night, but this being the weekend before New Years she was leaving early Saturday morning to go to New York. I suggested Thursday. Normally I wouldn’t because I have work on Friday, but I was taking off this Friday off because I had some comp time.

She agrees and is somewhat excited. I am somewhat reticent because I hadn’t actually told anybody at work that I was going to be taking the day off. And being new to the job, I wasn’t sure if it was an asking thing or a telling thing for days off. But regardless, I planned as if I was going to take the day off, which turned out to be a bad idea, because I ended up having to come in – but not until 1, so it didn’t slow down my drinking that Thursday night.

Christmas was on Monday, I had Tuesday off, Wednesday I had to work, and my sister came to the area to visit my dad, Thursday came and when I got off of work, I went to my dad’s house because I wanted to put in face time, and also I was going to take my sister out with me (she was also good friends with my friend Jess).

I of course let Jeff know of the plans, and he’s down for going to Bethesda, which is a bit of a trek for him, coming from Northern Virginia. Josh also comes. But before we can go anywhere, we need to decide where we are going. I would like to meet someplace beforehand, pre-game, and then all head out in one car. The difficulty with this is that everybody is coming from a different direction. Jess lives to the north of Bethesda, I am coming from the west, and Jeff and Josh are coming from the South. It would make sense just to meet up in Bethesda, but then drinks would be more expensive.

After about an hour or so of “figuring” things out on the phone, we decide to all meet at Jess’ house, and her friend would remain sober enough to drive all of us to this place in Bethesda. I am all for this idea, but it creeps me out more than just a little bit. Jess and I have been friends since I was about five years old. We lived right across the street from each other. And while I’ve gone drinking with Jess before, I’ve never brought alcohol into her parent’s house; I’ve never seen her parents while intoxicated. It was a little unnerving; I had to sneak the liquor into their house. I felt like I was back in high school.

My sister, Jeff, Josh, and I show up at the same time, and of course when we go up to the door, the parents are there to greet us. I’m the only one they really know. They vaguely remember my sister, and they have no clue who these other two guys with me are. But they’re nice, and after a somewhat awkward, albeit, brief, conversation, we descend into the basement to start the pre-gaming.

As we are walking up to the bar, I take a look at it, and it looks like an absolute hole in the wall. It’s right next to a gas station, as a standalone building. I’m mildly surprised when we walk inside, it’s a lot different that I would have imagined. And we happened to pick the right night to go there. It just happened to be Emily’s Bat Mitzvah. The reason that I haven’t mentioned Emily prior to this point in the story is because I have no clue who Emily is. I only know that on that particular night, she was celebrating her Bat Mitzvah.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, she was not 13, she was celebrating her 2nd Bat Mitzvah, so she was 23. I don’t know why you would need a 2nd Bat Mitzvah, but whatever. So we show up and Jeff and I get laid. And of course I only mean that it was a Hawaiian theme so all of her friends had on lays and cheap sunglasses. Josh, however, did not get laid. He was somewhat upset, but instead of moping, he took a somewhat more proactive approach. He went and found the bag of lays, and took them.

Emily, however, saw him, and was none-to-pleased. She confronted him and took the lays back. She then proceeded to lay him.

Since there were a lot of Jewish people there, Josh and I could not help but make a few Borat jokes. Not out loud – we did value our lives. My sister was not pleased with our brand of humor.

On a side note, I just want to point out that the only reason that I remember Emily’s name is because she had a joint poster that had it printed on there, and every time I would see her and forget her name, I would just look over at the poster. I wish all bars were like this, I would never get in trouble with forgetting a girl’s name if that was the case.

Then, in what had to be one of the strangest turn of events for the night, I ran into a good friend from work. I couldn’t believe it! And she actually knew Emily! or, knew of her, rather. I don’t really remember the explanation; I was pretty ripped at that point. And then, because seeing one random person wasn’t enough for the night. Richard Varner is a kid that I knew from elementary school, up until I moved after the sixth grade. It took me a while before I recognized him, but after seeing him for a bit, it jogged my memory, and it’s actually a little uncanny how similar he looks to what I remember. We didn’t talk for too long, but I found out that he was an army ranger and about to go to Italy (I think). Pretty cool.

At this point Jess decided that it was time to go. I was ripped, but she was obliterated. It was about midnight and the bars close at 1am in Maryland. The ratio was pretty good at this bar with the Bat Mitzvah, and all the guys there were tools, and therefore not really competition. I lobbied for staying at the bar. But since I didn’t drive, and I wasn’t good friends with the girl that did drive, I didn’t really have that much of a say in the matter.

Jess had met a few other friends there, and they knew exactly where this place was that we were going. We of course believed them, which was a mistake on our part. So we followed them. And we walked right by the place that we would end up going to, after about another 20 minutes of walking in a circle. This was not the place that we were trying to get to, but they served alcohol, so we went there.

We got in right before last call, and this place looks like what you would expect at last call on a work night – dead. We order some drinks and I head to the bathroom. I come out and I see Jeff dancing. Now, I need to point out that when we got in, there were a few girls dancing on the dance floor, and I thought there might be some potential. However, when I come out, it is only Jeff and this girl on the dance floor.

She is 29.

Other posts by Justin

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 at 9:31 am and is filed under good times, friends, work, video, alcohol . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.