The Drunken Blog

This is my dog, his name is Sandy and he is 12 years old. This is his epic journey escaping the bonds of the wrapping paper from Christmas day.

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I feel as if this post is going to be the staple post for this blog. I am somewhat intoxicated - forgive me for typos and incoherent sentences /paragraphs /thoughts /ideas /words /etc. (apparently sober enough to drive home 30 miles, though), talking about an event that involved alcohol, and also lesbians. I don’t think I have had a more definitive post yet.

There is one deciding factor that makes a party great; one single thing that can make horrible party awesome, and at the same time make an awesome party. That thing, of course, is a potential prospect. Somebody that you feel that you have a chance to hook up with. Whether or not you actually hook up with this person is irrelevant, the fact that you think you might makes or breaks a party.

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I know all of you, much like myself, drive from DC to Virginia Beach on a bi-monthly basis. So I know that you, like myself, have noticed the random gates that have been installed along the on and off ramps on I-64. Along my traffic-ridden drive I tried to surmise exactly why these gates would be there, but I only came up with a few theories, which I am sure are correct, because the more complicated a theory is, the more likely it will be correct.

At first I thought the gates were there in case a president would need to race down the roadway for some reason. I remember I first noticed the gates when I heard that President Bush was going to be speaking in Norfolk. But then I noticed that these mysterious gates are only east bound on I-64. I suppose that it’s possible that he didn’t return via I-64, but somehow I doubt that there is a team of people that installs these gates everywhere the president goes. If they were going to do that, they might as well just have the cars that would have been used installing the gates to block the entrances.

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This Christmas was one to remember. I think I have discovered what makes Christmas more fun now than it was when I was younger. Back in the day, I would eat Christmas dinner and try to leave the table as quickly as possible to go play video games or watch TV or do whatever. But now that I’m older, and can drink, it’s absolutely hilarious to stay at the table because all of the adults get drunk and talk about the goofiest things. The best part is, all of this has been going on for years, but I’m just now realizing that it is happening.

I have at least 5 stories that came from this one day, but lucky for you, I only remember one of them really, so I’ll just exaggerate it until it is amazing as five stories rolled into one.

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Before I had my blog, I was OK; having a blog makes me awesome, I think that much is clear. I am so awesome, in fact, that my paltry little writings are important enough for celebrities to read. In fact, Rachael Ray has recently visited my site. And what’s even better, she felt the need to comment on one of my posts! I’m in the big time, now!

In case you don’t know, Rachael Ray has her own cooking show on TV. I watched her make an entire Thanksgiving dinner in an hour. Well, I assumed she managed to do it, I didn’t actually watch the entire show. Apparently Rachael is from Clifton NJ and has the IP address 65.98.35.234. She also gave me the inside scoop to her super-secret website that is not even all the way up yet! (After all, I’m way too cool to go to her actual website. Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to post the link, as I have been sworn to secrecy.

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My company has a somewhat dilapidated database system for entering in test questions. It’s very unintuitive, has a clunky design, and makes you go through about 5 steps to do one thing to a question. Well, the other day this system (called ITS – Item Tracking System) stopped working on my computer. Something about a MDAC package not being available. The funny thing is that it was working on everybody else’s computer, just not mine.

Since I need to use this system to do some very tedious, menial, boring work, I sent an e-mail to the ITS people. They sent me back an e-mail asking if all of my settings were correct. I was pretty sure that they were, but I double checked anyway, since sometimes internet explorer likes to randomly change security settings. Of course, all of my settings were correct. They asked me to send a screenshot of the problem, I obliged.

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Just thought I’d let everybody know that I re-posted all of my entries from my cross country trip that happened back in June.

It was this trip that got me started with a blog, so I thought it would be fitting to be on my blog. I dated the entries to when the actually happened (hence, why they are not on the front page). But, they are pretty easy to find. You can either go to the right bar under categories and click Cross Country Trip or you can click on the month of June 2006 under the archive header.

Alternatively, you could click on any of the following links:

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Hi.

My name is Doug.

If you know Justin, you probably know me by now. If you don’t, that’s ok. Justin asked me to make a guest appearance on this site because, well, it’s hard work entertaining you people. And since I entertained Justin over the course of three years while we worked together, lived together (that’s two years if you count the weekends spent crashing on his couch) and in the course of various misadventures, he thought I might have some entertaining things for you as well.

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Over the course of my four year career at Circuit City I had a good friend there who would call the store simply “Circuit”. Not “the city” or “Circuit City”, just “Circuit”. I prefer to call it “Circuit Shitty”, and I always just did that because I worked there, and I thought it sucked. But I went in as a customer the other day (only my second time or so since quitting in October), and I found out what the true meaning of bad customer service is.

It kind of makes me wonder if I was a really good lead CSA with a good team, or if this example that I had at the Gaithersburg store was just a series of unfortunate events. Either way, it sucked. I’m not going to tell you what happened, because I filled in one of those online comment things, and I typed everything that happened there, so I’ll just post that and let you read it.

In my complaint I never explicitally state that I was customer service lead at a Circuit City for four years only 2 months ago. I want to see how it plays out with them contacting me, and I think if I said that I had worked there they would not take me seriously. If any updates come of this, I will be sure to post them.

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I, like so many other people, am comfortable with the familiar. I take after my dad in getting in a groove (you may call it a rut) and staying there because you’ve found something you like, and why bother changing it? A prime example would be my obsession with Chipotle. Sure, they have great burritos at a reasonable price, but I’m sure there are other restaurants in Georgetown that are equally priced with possibly even better food, but it’s hard to find that out when all I do is go to Chipotle.

The same goes for driving. I would much rather drive somewhere that I have been before and I am familiar with than some place that I’ve never been before. It was with this in mind that I was invited out to a concert. The venue, I now know, was The State Theater, Kristin mentioned that to me on the phone, but I was undecided as to whether or not I would go. Going to concerts for bands that you have never heard before can be a not-so-fun event (the headliner was Bob Schneider). But, after a few minutes of pondering, I quickly found out that I didn’t have anything better to do.

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